SO often over the years I have spoken to people about the mission and the one thing that has always been difficult for me is asking for financial support. Part of the reason has been because I don't want to bother people, I am afraid of the response and because I worried that relying on asking human beings might make it seem like I don't believe that Gods got it covered. It may sound silly but its the truth.
We are entering a season where people will be receiving ALOT of letters in the mail, commercials on T.V and phone calls too asking for them to help out for the Christmas season and I was truly afraid to be another one of those annoyances. I was planning a letter to send out on behalf of the mission to our supporters and feeling sick to my stomach about doing it. I don't want it to be about the money........until it hit me last night during my time of prayer........It actually is about the money.
Ouch.
11 years ago I was at a cross roads in my life. Severe depression had set in , layers of unforgiveness, guilt, fear and confusion. Not too many years before that I was living on welfare with my daughter, using food vouchers at the grocery store and celebrating Christmas with the help of organizations like HHSM. I understood that I was miserable in my poverty because I never had enough money to make me happy. When I ended up with a house in suburbia, a car, credit cards, food from the grocery store and the ability to go on trips I couldn't figure out why the money wasn't making me happier, in fact wondered why I was more depressed than ever before. Until I was introduced to Jesus Christ I didn't understand that the world was telling me a lie. Stuff could never make me happier and the darkness I felt could never be wiped away with money or things but only with making Jesus Christ my Lord and saviour. When the mission was born soon after that it was out of a sense that I wanted to let more people know about this Jesus who saved my life and even though we brought blankets to hand out too because the goal was to tell the people who wouldn't be invited to the church, people on the street it was never about the stuff. Even though the mission has now grown from the outreach 11 years ago to the free store and program center it still isn't about he stuff. People need tangible things to help make it through sometimes to the next day BUT without the love of Jesus Christ the point is entirely lost.
I believe in relationship building and really finding out the needs of people in order to help others LIVE and not just exist in the world, something alot of us do rich and poor, just exist surviving from one day to the next, one client to the next, one business deal to the next, one vacation to the next, one house to the next.
I believe the mission does a really great job, not perfect but a great job at loving our friends in the beautiful mess of life. We have seen lives changed not because of the free stuff but because Jesus is who he says he is. We have out grown our space due to the amount of people coming to the program center and being resourced from other agencies to the store. Our partnerships with other services in the city and having them come to our CHIPP ( Community Health Illness Prevention Program) has caused a ground well of activity and made huge differences with our friends finding the resources that suit their personal needs and start them on a road to success. That success may be a job, recovery from addiction and sometimes its just to successfully get out of the house that day to come and be with people and enjoy a cup of coffee.
I know we cant continue to freely open the doors to whomever stops by with asking for financial help. I know I cannot keep telling amazing stories of lives changed and connections made and community built without asking for the hardest thing to ask for....MONEY. I know the dream and very close possibility to a building to help accommodate our friends cannot become even a larger conversation without the help of donors. I know the exciting conversations I have about Helping Hands Street Mission cannot continue without the realization of meeting a growing budget due to increase in rent, increased supplies and the need for more infrastructure.
I still believe in a God who starts something and sees it through. I still believe the most important thing we can do is tell people about the saving power of Jesus Christ. I also know that by saying that I have already lost some of you, but that's okay, the mission exists only because of that truth.
The mission is in a place where it is in need of financial help and that is just a fact. I know it comes at a time when everyone is asking and i Know there are lots of places your money can go that are worthy causes. I guess what I am asking is that if over the years you have been touched by the stories of our friends at the mission and how hard our team of volunteers work we are asking for your help and yes we are asking for money. Ouch.
That's hard for me to say but the reality is with all the wonderful things that have happened over the last 11 years we have needed money to do it and we would like to do more of it. Please take the time to prayerfully consider a financial donation to the mission and I want to thank all those who faithfully support us on a monthly basis through direct deposit, credit card or though choosing us as a designation at work when your work decided to match it and to those who quietly place a cheque in the mail or cash in an envelope and pass it along down on Barton st. Thank-you for helping us these last 11 years.
God is stretching me to do what is difficult and I have been here before and it doesn't get any easier. I still believe in a God whose "got it covered" but i know he uses all of us because His plans are to connect us in helping to create a piece of "on earth as it is in heaven" together.
I never knew where God was going to take my heart when we went out that first night to give out a blanket and talk about Jesus and I don't know where He plans to take us next ( although I do have some dreams) but I am grateful everyday for a God who can take a broken, messed up girl and use her to make a small difference in the lives of those He loves. I am grateful that He sees no life as forever lost one but an opportunity to grow community in going to find them.
From the depths of my heart I thank-you .
If you want to know more about Helping Hands Street Mission please go to :
www.hhsmhamilton.com
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Fake it till you make it
To say I was nervous was completely understated.
I was more like terrified.
Seriously .
Like full on throw up what am I doing here terrified.
My mum would say "sometimes you just need to fake it till you make it" and right at that moment I was totally living in the middle of that advice.
I had all my notes that I had prepared for months, all my paperclips keeping my bible pages separate and the best clothes I could muster out of my closet. I set up the computer with my fancy PowerPoint ready to go and looked out at the empty seats that were about to be filled by mothers and daughters eager to hear something wonderful from the main speaker at the retreat they paid money to be at. This was day one and would totally determine the flow of the whole weekend and also determine whether or not some might sleep in the next two days to avoid listening to the speaker.
I thought about the irony that I was the speaker at one of these events. I certainly wasn't the greatest daughter in the world in fact I am sure most of my mothers sleepless nights with me were not in my infancy but rather from the ages of 14-29. Then when the pendulum is moved to my mothering skills to say the very least they were lacking and came from a place of trying to repair rather than laying foundations. These thoughts certainly didn't escape my mind in fact they consumed it as I drove with my daughter up north.
The enemy really had me in a place where he could do some serious damage and he worked overtime for those few hours that Friday afternoon. Quietly whispering in my mind. Going over and over again the times when I failed in both the mother of the year and daughter of the year categories.Listing all the things that I was not qualified to do by the worlds standards.
Now before I receive emails quoting scripture about being new in Christ I was way ahead of you on that. In fact the irony was that I was teaching on this very topic, God our potter, the work of his hands, new in Christ. I had read those scriptures over and over again for months......its amazing how the enemy can still get in though isn't it.
As they started to flood in I began to shake and prayed silently to God for comfort and wisdom and to stop me from telling bad jokes. The 20 minutes went by pretty fast and I laid the ground work for the weekend, including reminding them that I was NOT an expert on Mother/daughter relationships and they left the building. I would have to wait for feedback tomorrow, if I was ever going to get some. I went back to my room and looked at my cell phone. My husband who was at home feeling very sick ( some more guilt for the weekend) sent me a text that said, " Praying for your day.Remember if the Lord put it on your heart speak it. It is all about Him not what people think. Love you princess very proud of you xo." Exactly what I needed and was something confirmed by my friend who was there for the weekend who said " your not here to make friends but you are here to teach Gods word". When the enemy is all you hear you need to have back up in the army of faith to help you fight and with those two words of confirmation I had victory!
The rest of that weekend was amazing! Not only did the next three sessions of speaking start with no thought to throwing up but were met with amazing conversations with other mothers about similar feelings with their daughters. I laughed with them and their girls and enjoyed amazing moments with my daughter too. God gave me moments to speak into the lives of woman who were feeling some of the very things i was and gave me His wisdom to share.One of the greatest compliments I received that weekend was from a wonderful 12 year old girl who said " Helen your funny and I like the way you talk. You don't use those big words so I can understand what you are saying. I like that. Thank you" It took my breath away. God knows what message we need to hear when we struggle. I always wonder if people will take me seriously when I teach because I don't use or understand big theological words. I simply give the message as God gives it to me in the hopes that others will hear it too because the simplicity of the Word is what saved my life. My gift is not how intelligent I am, how much scripture I have memorized or what letters I have after my name. My gift is speaking. Speaking the simplicity of the Word of God in the hopes that EVERYONE will understand because I believe that's exactly how Jesus did it and asks us to share it.
Before this weekend I had never done a retreat weekend as a main speaker.I have told my testimony alot and talked alot about the mission but never before was I given this opportunity I was so grateful for it so I could keep going on this journey with God and taking the next step in what He has prepared for me. My calling isn't in what many people think it is . For the last 12 years God has placed me in places and spaces to learn in a way I could have never learned in school but God is a God of seasons. I know it would make many people comfortable to have me remain where I am doing what they think I should do but God has plans for me that are bigger than even I can see.
"Fake it till you make it" might really be true when God is apart of the process. To the world my entire resume and background leads not to the the place I am in now , only God can do that.In fact for the purposes of the job I was doing that weekend my resume made me look like a fake. Only God can put you in the spaces and places that make no sense to anyone else. Only he can take someone with a background like mine, an education that the world says "doesn't qualify" and experiences with people who the world sees as "less than them" and put me on a journey like this.
Never allow what the world says stop you from doing what God has called you to do. He will equip you and qualify you in a way the world never could.
I was more like terrified.
Seriously .
Like full on throw up what am I doing here terrified.
My mum would say "sometimes you just need to fake it till you make it" and right at that moment I was totally living in the middle of that advice.
I had all my notes that I had prepared for months, all my paperclips keeping my bible pages separate and the best clothes I could muster out of my closet. I set up the computer with my fancy PowerPoint ready to go and looked out at the empty seats that were about to be filled by mothers and daughters eager to hear something wonderful from the main speaker at the retreat they paid money to be at. This was day one and would totally determine the flow of the whole weekend and also determine whether or not some might sleep in the next two days to avoid listening to the speaker.
I thought about the irony that I was the speaker at one of these events. I certainly wasn't the greatest daughter in the world in fact I am sure most of my mothers sleepless nights with me were not in my infancy but rather from the ages of 14-29. Then when the pendulum is moved to my mothering skills to say the very least they were lacking and came from a place of trying to repair rather than laying foundations. These thoughts certainly didn't escape my mind in fact they consumed it as I drove with my daughter up north.
The enemy really had me in a place where he could do some serious damage and he worked overtime for those few hours that Friday afternoon. Quietly whispering in my mind. Going over and over again the times when I failed in both the mother of the year and daughter of the year categories.Listing all the things that I was not qualified to do by the worlds standards.
Now before I receive emails quoting scripture about being new in Christ I was way ahead of you on that. In fact the irony was that I was teaching on this very topic, God our potter, the work of his hands, new in Christ. I had read those scriptures over and over again for months......its amazing how the enemy can still get in though isn't it.
As they started to flood in I began to shake and prayed silently to God for comfort and wisdom and to stop me from telling bad jokes. The 20 minutes went by pretty fast and I laid the ground work for the weekend, including reminding them that I was NOT an expert on Mother/daughter relationships and they left the building. I would have to wait for feedback tomorrow, if I was ever going to get some. I went back to my room and looked at my cell phone. My husband who was at home feeling very sick ( some more guilt for the weekend) sent me a text that said, " Praying for your day.Remember if the Lord put it on your heart speak it. It is all about Him not what people think. Love you princess very proud of you xo." Exactly what I needed and was something confirmed by my friend who was there for the weekend who said " your not here to make friends but you are here to teach Gods word". When the enemy is all you hear you need to have back up in the army of faith to help you fight and with those two words of confirmation I had victory!
The rest of that weekend was amazing! Not only did the next three sessions of speaking start with no thought to throwing up but were met with amazing conversations with other mothers about similar feelings with their daughters. I laughed with them and their girls and enjoyed amazing moments with my daughter too. God gave me moments to speak into the lives of woman who were feeling some of the very things i was and gave me His wisdom to share.One of the greatest compliments I received that weekend was from a wonderful 12 year old girl who said " Helen your funny and I like the way you talk. You don't use those big words so I can understand what you are saying. I like that. Thank you" It took my breath away. God knows what message we need to hear when we struggle. I always wonder if people will take me seriously when I teach because I don't use or understand big theological words. I simply give the message as God gives it to me in the hopes that others will hear it too because the simplicity of the Word is what saved my life. My gift is not how intelligent I am, how much scripture I have memorized or what letters I have after my name. My gift is speaking. Speaking the simplicity of the Word of God in the hopes that EVERYONE will understand because I believe that's exactly how Jesus did it and asks us to share it.
Before this weekend I had never done a retreat weekend as a main speaker.I have told my testimony alot and talked alot about the mission but never before was I given this opportunity I was so grateful for it so I could keep going on this journey with God and taking the next step in what He has prepared for me. My calling isn't in what many people think it is . For the last 12 years God has placed me in places and spaces to learn in a way I could have never learned in school but God is a God of seasons. I know it would make many people comfortable to have me remain where I am doing what they think I should do but God has plans for me that are bigger than even I can see.
"Fake it till you make it" might really be true when God is apart of the process. To the world my entire resume and background leads not to the the place I am in now , only God can do that.In fact for the purposes of the job I was doing that weekend my resume made me look like a fake. Only God can put you in the spaces and places that make no sense to anyone else. Only he can take someone with a background like mine, an education that the world says "doesn't qualify" and experiences with people who the world sees as "less than them" and put me on a journey like this.
Never allow what the world says stop you from doing what God has called you to do. He will equip you and qualify you in a way the world never could.
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