I don't know where to start on this blog I am sooooo excited and filled with joy with how awesome God really is. We just got home from the most incredible celebration of Jesus and the awesome power he has to save people. It was a facebook event to celebrate my 10th birthday with Jesus but it turned into something so much better than that!
It started at 7 am at Angels diner where 26 people woke up early to celebrate together( it turned into 32 by the end of the morning).....LOTS of coffee was served and delicious breakfast and the room just filled with the holy spirit...it was amazing! Friends that I have known for many years and some that I just met but all there to celebrate the awesome power of God who redeems all who ask and surrender to him. Many friends who would never be up before 8 were there , some staying to eat and share until work started and many who flowed in later. The waitress asked what we were celebrating and I got to share with her about my spiritual birthday..always opportunities that God places before us. My Jesus Freak friend who brought me to the Lord was there and I couldn't be more excited for the people who have heard about the mystery woman from my testimony to see her and meet her it took my breath away. She is a very private woman who doesn't normally share but she did and gave details of how God placed me into her life and how He saved hers as well. Then it started a group of people alot strangers who have never met and would have never crossed paths except for Jesus telling their stories of their life with Jesus and what they are doing now and how they met me and really just pouring out their testimonies to strangers and finding the connection between one another....a connection planned so perfectly by God.
I stopped to take some pictures and was looking through the lens at one point and began to tear up. God has placed each one of the people in this room in my life to help me on my journey until this point and moving forward. People from all different backgrounds denominations and even some who wouldn't call themselves Christian (although I believe they are in the closet) people who witnessed the transformation of my life and some who simply know me post-Jesus. My husband said grace and i knew that he wasn't just thanking the Lord for this day but for all the things many in that room don't know that God has taken our marriage out of and into. My life 10 years ago was painful and shattered and I know if God can save me he really can save anyone. There is no doubt in my mind that the obedience of my Jesus Freak friend is the reason why I am here today. She shared about how she prayed to God not to use her to help me because I was so miserable, but God told her to go and tell me about him. I wonder how many people I have over looked because they seemed too hard to get to? I wonder who I am afraid to tell ? My prayer is to be bold for Jesus in all circumstances and be obedient to God in all things.
I asked each person who was coming today to go and bless someone they do not know and simply say that Jesus loves them. This past week I have received many messages from people who couldn't attend who told me stories of the blessings they passed on to strangers and it warmed my heart. Connections were made at the tables that were totally God appointments, ministry leaders meeting possible volunteers, speaking engagements planned for others to share their testimonies with lots more people and friendships rekindled of people who haven't seen each other in a while. We even had a family reunion of sorts...so awesome so God! It was a beautiful mosaic of Gods people celebrating the power of Gods love. If i could start every morning like that it would be heaven. Over 3 hours of stories of redemption, grace , mercy, hope, peace, passion, struggles, joy and love. So often in churches we never get to hear the incredible stories of what God has done and is doing.....living breathing kingdom stories of the miracles God has been doing long after the last word in the bible was written. As we were leaving I went to pay for Hannahs breakfast and the waitress said" oh no someone in your group left me lots of money to pay for any customers meals on my shift that I wanted to bless through out the day." Today there will be many customers feeling the blessings of God at that diner and a waitress who will remember how much joy and love was in that room and tell other people about it.....about someones birthday with Jesus.
I was still so "high" on the spirit when I pulled into our driveway at home to see my friend Will and his brothers emptying their dads house that recently sold. Will was instrumental in my early walk with God and one of the greatest encourages of the mission even though I was so new and had no clue what I was doing or even how to articulate my faith. He allowed me to be bold in my faith and when I said I was hearing from God he never tried to tell me I was not. Even the many times I am sure when I would say or do things that he knew would cause me to have to learn the hard way , he let me walk with God on MY journey so I could learn what I needed to. I love how God had him there on today of all days! I ran to him and told him about our wonderful breakfast and got to share with his brothers too. We prayed together on the front lawn and thanked God for how great he is and they again encouraged me on my journey with him to step boldly into His presence. Talk about feeling on fire! Holy spirit fire!
Today is a day that I look at the people, remember the places and see how God is so intentional with us. If we just open the door to allow him to work the things he can do in and through us are mind blowing! I am still married, have wonderful children, a community of on fire faith filled warriors all that are complete miracles from God and most important I am alive and well in Jesus Christ! If you are reading this blog and are not yet saved please know it is never too late (30 years for me) you are never too broken( I was so broken I wanted to die) and no matter what you have done (I have done some terrible things) Jesus loves you like no one else ever can and he is waiting for you to ask him into your heart. Lord I pray that you break open the hearts of anyone reading this blog who is not saved and flood them with your spirit. I pray that for families who think they have someone who is so lost they gave up trying will be bold again today for you.I thank you Jesus for never letting me go and for redeeming all the things in my life, all the broken that you have made new. Please make me bold and never loose my JESUS FREAK for you! AMEN
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Monday, August 26, 2013
Imperfect tea cups and broken roses.
I am overwhelmed these past few days with the people God has placed in my life to love me the unique way they all do. I woke up this morning on my "official" birthday feeling more than blessed if there is such a thing and really so grateful for the life God has allowed me to have. I am always aware of everything in my life being the fruit of following Jesus , without him I would be dead, literally and figuratively. Today as I went to the mission God blew me out of the water again. Doesn't he always.
I was greeted by Michelle a student who is interning with us who was holding a cake and cupcakes to share with our friends and a bouquet of flowers. I thanked her and said she didn't need to do that and she responded by saying, " I am so happy to be able to do my hours here and I am grateful for it. Thanks for letting me be a part of it." She has no idea what a blessings she is to us and yet she is another example of how God draws people to places and spaces and tugs at their heart to love his people......those people we think are so unlovable. Just before we opened my friend Abby stopped by with her mom and I was so glad to see her on my birthday, we have known Abby for almost 9 years now and I haven't seen her all summer. They wished me a happy birthday and gave me a hug and we shared a cupcake while she told me about her new outfit for school, Oh how I miss seeing her since her mom had to find a new place further away from the mission-what a treat for my birthday! I was wearing my Birthday Girl button but most already knew it was my birthday before they got there. Of course having cake was a big hit and real cream for their coffee was pretty awesome too-no powdered stuff. We started running low on cake and Sandi rides her bike INTO the door of the mission out of breath and says "close your eyes Helen and put out your hand" I have to be honest there were times in my relationship with Sandi that I wouldn't dare do that but God has so radically redeemed her life I knew it was safe. She placed a red velvet cake in my hand and said with tears in her eyes and a shaky voice" I was trying to get here before you opened so we could all sing happy birthday to you sorry I was late". I hugged and kissed her and told her how much i loved her and she told me the same and wished me a happy birthday. She is a true walking talking miracle from God. How incredible it is to witness her life. She said cut the cake!! SO we did and had even more to share with our friends. Jill came in asking for a loonie to buy her cat some food before her cheque came and I reminded her that we cannot give out money then I remembered the cat food left over from Sandi looking after the stray we had a few days ago so I gave it to her, enough to last for a while. She was so grateful and returned about an hour later with some roses. Beautiful pink full roses that smelled amazing. "Happy Birthday Helen " I gave her a hug and thanked her for the flowers and looked down at the broken stem that had been twisted and turned from its bush from someones garden and given to me as a gift. Lovely broken roses from a lovely lady who had no money left for a few days but wanted to give me something. Those roses sit in a beautiful vase at my table and they are broken but so lovely, just like Jill. Tammy saw the flowers and said "hey its your birthday I didn't know why didn't anyone tell me?!?!?" She ran back to the store side of the mission and returned with something wrapped simply in a plastic bag and said " here happy birthday I got you something." I unwrapped the bag and it was cup with a strange handle that didn't seem like it was meant for it and it had the words TEA written all over it. Someone had just donated it. Tammy said " I know you like tea so I wanted you to have it." Spoken like a friend who had shopped all day for that something special for your birthday. It was imperfect but lovely just like Tammy. That tea cup is now washed and ready to go on my counter for tomorrow mornings breakfast and I cant wait to sit and enjoy a cup and look at my roses. Beautiful gifts from some beautiful woman to me.....me . A broken and imperfect woman like them.
My last few days have been filled with so many beautiful things. Parties cards friends cake and gifts. Today God brought me back to place of remembering that broken and imperfect is all we have here as we wait for the coming of the perfect One who sees our lovely through it all.
I was greeted by Michelle a student who is interning with us who was holding a cake and cupcakes to share with our friends and a bouquet of flowers. I thanked her and said she didn't need to do that and she responded by saying, " I am so happy to be able to do my hours here and I am grateful for it. Thanks for letting me be a part of it." She has no idea what a blessings she is to us and yet she is another example of how God draws people to places and spaces and tugs at their heart to love his people......those people we think are so unlovable. Just before we opened my friend Abby stopped by with her mom and I was so glad to see her on my birthday, we have known Abby for almost 9 years now and I haven't seen her all summer. They wished me a happy birthday and gave me a hug and we shared a cupcake while she told me about her new outfit for school, Oh how I miss seeing her since her mom had to find a new place further away from the mission-what a treat for my birthday! I was wearing my Birthday Girl button but most already knew it was my birthday before they got there. Of course having cake was a big hit and real cream for their coffee was pretty awesome too-no powdered stuff. We started running low on cake and Sandi rides her bike INTO the door of the mission out of breath and says "close your eyes Helen and put out your hand" I have to be honest there were times in my relationship with Sandi that I wouldn't dare do that but God has so radically redeemed her life I knew it was safe. She placed a red velvet cake in my hand and said with tears in her eyes and a shaky voice" I was trying to get here before you opened so we could all sing happy birthday to you sorry I was late". I hugged and kissed her and told her how much i loved her and she told me the same and wished me a happy birthday. She is a true walking talking miracle from God. How incredible it is to witness her life. She said cut the cake!! SO we did and had even more to share with our friends. Jill came in asking for a loonie to buy her cat some food before her cheque came and I reminded her that we cannot give out money then I remembered the cat food left over from Sandi looking after the stray we had a few days ago so I gave it to her, enough to last for a while. She was so grateful and returned about an hour later with some roses. Beautiful pink full roses that smelled amazing. "Happy Birthday Helen " I gave her a hug and thanked her for the flowers and looked down at the broken stem that had been twisted and turned from its bush from someones garden and given to me as a gift. Lovely broken roses from a lovely lady who had no money left for a few days but wanted to give me something. Those roses sit in a beautiful vase at my table and they are broken but so lovely, just like Jill. Tammy saw the flowers and said "hey its your birthday I didn't know why didn't anyone tell me?!?!?" She ran back to the store side of the mission and returned with something wrapped simply in a plastic bag and said " here happy birthday I got you something." I unwrapped the bag and it was cup with a strange handle that didn't seem like it was meant for it and it had the words TEA written all over it. Someone had just donated it. Tammy said " I know you like tea so I wanted you to have it." Spoken like a friend who had shopped all day for that something special for your birthday. It was imperfect but lovely just like Tammy. That tea cup is now washed and ready to go on my counter for tomorrow mornings breakfast and I cant wait to sit and enjoy a cup and look at my roses. Beautiful gifts from some beautiful woman to me.....me . A broken and imperfect woman like them.
My last few days have been filled with so many beautiful things. Parties cards friends cake and gifts. Today God brought me back to place of remembering that broken and imperfect is all we have here as we wait for the coming of the perfect One who sees our lovely through it all.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
The real purpose of the journey .
It has almost been one year since this JESUS FREAK journey started.....in two more days I am officially 40 years old.....I am so excited!
This journey has taken me places within myself that have been a bit scary and it has definitely been a year of growth, sometimes painful but so worth every minute. When I started this blog the idea was to find my FREAK again that space I was in almost 10 years ago when Jesus destroyed me to give me a new life. I thought finding that "excitement " about my faith again was what I needed but I now know all along God was bringing me to an even better place with Him......isn't it wonderful that He doesn't always give us what we think we need? Gods wisdom has saved me many times from myself. My FREAK for JESUS is here again but in a much more rich way, it is here with a sense that I soak more than I FREAK about it and my boldness that I thought I lost is here but it is more secure in itself which makes it even better. I thought I was looking to return to what I had but God wasn't okay with leaving me there, He loves us all more than that.
Tonight my wonderful husband, daughter and best friend threw a fantastic surprise 40th birthday party for me. It was in the barn on my friends property, lots of wonderful food and I received amazing gifts......I was overwhelmed. As we went for the tractor ride as the sun was setting I was reflecting in my mind how the last 40 years of my life has been. I thought about the girl I was and the woman I am now. I thought about my relationships with family and friends and my marriage and my children.......the good and the bad. I sat on that ride and thought about the people at this party some who have known me my whole life, some from my past and some just from the last 10 years or less and I couldn't help but smile. It amazes me how God can gather all of these people together in a space, all who have known me , loved me, been through great times but also some very dark times and have us celebrate together with one another. I thought about how awkward it really did feel at first when I saw them all and realized the party was for me. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the people whom God has placed in my life, how did I ever deserve this? I reflected on the people who were there some who I have hurt in the past and mended those relationships and many who just gave me a whole lotta grace in the times I have messed up and never needed any mending at all. I thought about all the people there who mentored me on this 10 year journey with Jesus and who may never know how instrumental their time, listening ear or simple example has been to me. I love how different we all are and how God uses us all to refine eachother and to even allow painful experiences to teach us mercy, grace and strength.
I sat and opened many beautiful cards with words that inspired , made me laugh and made me cry.Opened beautiful gifts and gifts that will allow me to indulge in the things I love. I sat with my "BIRTHDAY GIRL" button and looked around a barn at God .
I saw the face of Jesus in everyone there. I saw how God took a broken life of mine and didn't just put it back together but reformed and reshaped it using the most important tool He has to do that......His people....my people ......all those people in that barn tonight. Not perfect relationships but messy ones....beautiful kingdom mess with Gods people. I could hardly breath when I said thank-you tonight. I realized in that moment that my search for my JESUS FREAK was over, It was never really gone because it was right there in that room. It wasn't about trying to get back what I thought I lost it was about realizing that God was moving me into a new phase of this journey and in order to move me forward He needed me to see what the FREAK really is. Its the relationships in the community of God that holds no barriers of where you attend church, IF you attend church, what denomination you are. Having my JESUS FREAK back was about the enormity of the spirit of God and that no box can contain it. No rules or doctrine or building. My FREAK was in the connection to people who live this crazy life in ways that inspire and provoke It is found in a room full of people who do not demand perfection from me but demand a life lived full for God even if that looks radically different from theirs My JESUS FREAK is back. Not the way it used to be but the way it is meant to be on this leg of the journey.
I think I may continue this blog as a personal reminder to me of the many ways God is still working on me. Thanks for reading it this year and thanks to everyone who has ever touched my life.
This journey has taken me places within myself that have been a bit scary and it has definitely been a year of growth, sometimes painful but so worth every minute. When I started this blog the idea was to find my FREAK again that space I was in almost 10 years ago when Jesus destroyed me to give me a new life. I thought finding that "excitement " about my faith again was what I needed but I now know all along God was bringing me to an even better place with Him......isn't it wonderful that He doesn't always give us what we think we need? Gods wisdom has saved me many times from myself. My FREAK for JESUS is here again but in a much more rich way, it is here with a sense that I soak more than I FREAK about it and my boldness that I thought I lost is here but it is more secure in itself which makes it even better. I thought I was looking to return to what I had but God wasn't okay with leaving me there, He loves us all more than that.
Tonight my wonderful husband, daughter and best friend threw a fantastic surprise 40th birthday party for me. It was in the barn on my friends property, lots of wonderful food and I received amazing gifts......I was overwhelmed. As we went for the tractor ride as the sun was setting I was reflecting in my mind how the last 40 years of my life has been. I thought about the girl I was and the woman I am now. I thought about my relationships with family and friends and my marriage and my children.......the good and the bad. I sat on that ride and thought about the people at this party some who have known me my whole life, some from my past and some just from the last 10 years or less and I couldn't help but smile. It amazes me how God can gather all of these people together in a space, all who have known me , loved me, been through great times but also some very dark times and have us celebrate together with one another. I thought about how awkward it really did feel at first when I saw them all and realized the party was for me. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the people whom God has placed in my life, how did I ever deserve this? I reflected on the people who were there some who I have hurt in the past and mended those relationships and many who just gave me a whole lotta grace in the times I have messed up and never needed any mending at all. I thought about all the people there who mentored me on this 10 year journey with Jesus and who may never know how instrumental their time, listening ear or simple example has been to me. I love how different we all are and how God uses us all to refine eachother and to even allow painful experiences to teach us mercy, grace and strength.
I sat and opened many beautiful cards with words that inspired , made me laugh and made me cry.Opened beautiful gifts and gifts that will allow me to indulge in the things I love. I sat with my "BIRTHDAY GIRL" button and looked around a barn at God .
I saw the face of Jesus in everyone there. I saw how God took a broken life of mine and didn't just put it back together but reformed and reshaped it using the most important tool He has to do that......His people....my people ......all those people in that barn tonight. Not perfect relationships but messy ones....beautiful kingdom mess with Gods people. I could hardly breath when I said thank-you tonight. I realized in that moment that my search for my JESUS FREAK was over, It was never really gone because it was right there in that room. It wasn't about trying to get back what I thought I lost it was about realizing that God was moving me into a new phase of this journey and in order to move me forward He needed me to see what the FREAK really is. Its the relationships in the community of God that holds no barriers of where you attend church, IF you attend church, what denomination you are. Having my JESUS FREAK back was about the enormity of the spirit of God and that no box can contain it. No rules or doctrine or building. My FREAK was in the connection to people who live this crazy life in ways that inspire and provoke It is found in a room full of people who do not demand perfection from me but demand a life lived full for God even if that looks radically different from theirs My JESUS FREAK is back. Not the way it used to be but the way it is meant to be on this leg of the journey.
I think I may continue this blog as a personal reminder to me of the many ways God is still working on me. Thanks for reading it this year and thanks to everyone who has ever touched my life.
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