Ever since my last post I have been trying to write this one. I shouldn't have hesitated because all it did was cause me to over think it to death, trying to write words that would make everyone okay with a decision that was made. The big problem with that is I worried more about what people would think and dismissed God in the process. I played it safe for a few months, but God isn't about safe. That's not how He rolls. I even went into scripture to find evidence of safe in the lives of those whom God calls and to my frustration I couldn't. I prayed about keeping it to a small corner of people in my life waiting until they somehow blew the trumpet announcing it for me. He isn't about safe or about passing the buck. He is about calling you out, moving you forward and making it messy. That's how He rolls.
Now that Ive built up this big announcement it occurred to me that building it up is a huge ego thing, maybe no one will even care whats going on or whats happening kind of like when someone builds up a movie that you "must" see and with great anticipation you pay too much money for movie and a popcorn and get there early to get the perfect seat only to be left wondering what the hype was all about........I pray you didn't get popcorn for this......here we go........
After 12 years of ministry we are leaving Helping Hands Street Mission. .......
Please leave the "theatre" now if you are already yawning, I don't want to subject you to continued torture as I now type out a small glimpse of the who what where when why and how. If you choose to stay seated I promise you this is definitely only a review and not a full length feature film, if you want the full length version invite me to your place, I'll even bring the popcorn.Oh and I thought about how I should make sure people know how much I love the mission and still do and then it occurred to me if someone needs to see that in writing on this blog then they have no idea who we are, so if you are looking for that please stop reading now. I think we have some pretty significant evidence of our love for what God did and is doing at HHSM so in this new chapter of my life I have decided that i wont be making people feel better about decisions we make, or trying to remove any thoughts from "enquiring minds" who like to create drama where there is none. If a great story comes out of this blog about some horrible thing that has caused us to leave, i cant control BS and wont give any more time to it. SO here goes:
WHO: Well its me , I am leaving along with my husband Tom. Not just stepping back, a term people use who truly want you to hang on to something God clearly has called you out of ,but LEAVING as in turning in my key. Tom will remain , for now, on a Sunday to help facilitate and preach at RAW. The bigger question of WHO to me is honestly getting to know Helen, child of God, no titles, no attachments, just Helen and Jesus I cant wait!
WHAT!?!?!: This is a response I have been getting from some people when they hear the news. I am never sure how to respond back. Often I feel like their state of shock is unreasonable or that I have to somehow comfort them or try to make them okay with a decision that Tom and I believe God has asked us to make. The truth is this is the response we have been giving God for over two years now and He isn't interested in giving us full disclosure about whats next, only glimpses, and he is also not interested in explaining it all until we were okay with it.Hes God that's how he rolls.......if you want further explanation, keep your bible open , its all in there.
WHERE: Where are you going to be? Like if we are not at the mission we someone cant possibly be anywhere else. It occurred to me that we have done a very bad job through this journey of faith of connecting ourselves only to HHSM and the ministry. I understood that people recognized us as somehow "attached" to it as founders , but I'm actually looking forward to being introduced at parties now wondering what people will put in the gap after my name because they can no longer say " This is Helen Norris she is the founder and Executive Director of Helping Hands Street Mission in Hamilton" For a teaser I will tell you that I believe God is asking me to stop being safe and being in a place that offers you comfort and some senses of entitlement in the community of believers, and go and use the gifts he gave me and step into something new that requires me to trust him for not just the "future" or where I will be but for income, a vehicle, a computer, a printer etc lots of perks I am required to drop if I feel called from the shoreline into the waves. Dropping all the perks that I secretly have coveted for years,especially those introductions.
WHEN: Well this is easy I gave my notice in April that I would be available until December 31 unless they find someone sooner, not my time, Gods. I will be launching a website FUMBLING THROUGH FAITH in September that is apart of my exciting new journey and whatever other possibilities God has planned well those "WHENS" I don't have the answer to and that feels so good...like waiting for the time at your birthday party when you get to open your gifts.
WHY: This is really hard to answer answer, again if we are looking to try and explain something you believe God has asked I feel almost like trying to explain to an unbeliever ( and sometimes "believers") about the miracles of God in scripture and stories about how I feel he "speaks" to me. I am either left looking like a crazy person ( something perhaps valid at times) or spinning my wheels in an effort to make other people okay with it, because that's how He rolls, you cant explain his awesomeness or his plans, you just have to go with it, but only if you truly want the things hes promised, they don't come in "safe" that's just not how He rolls.
HOW: Good question.......God ... that's how. He has never left my side these last 12 years that I have truly known him. He started something in me that I didn't understand 12 years ago and I honestly still don't because he is too big to understand and that's truly why I love him. The HOW for me is because of the trust I have for him, the same trust I had for his provisions when I left a job with pension and benefits to "work" at the mission for no money, no perks and a husband that wasn't working full time. HOW we kept our house...God , how our marriage and family didn't break up ( my family were immersed into something they never asked for and we have been "all-in" for 12 years) or collapse from exhaustion...God. He will continue to bless us and sustain us even though on paper its the craziest move ever ( oh yeah my husband is in recovery and not working right now either) but it never stopped us before because our God is unstoppable if you believe He is who HE says HE is.
My Mum put it best, " Well I guess its just another part of your adventures!"
Yes Mum that's how HE rolls.
