It was never really mine to begin with.

A little follow-up from my blog the other day about my dads roommate........

                                   Dads roommate didn't leave on the Friday as we had anticipated but instead left this morning to go back home so it was great to have even a couple of more days to connect with him. The day after writing the first blog about dads roommate I came into the hospital to find him being very quiet , which was pretty rare for him so i assumed he was sleeping. So I didn't disturb him I just sat beside dad and whispered to him about his night. He must have heard Dad and I anyway and yelled "HEY Helen is that you?" I said "yes good morning how are you today?" "alright I guess" he said. The nurse came in to do some blood work with dad so I asked him if I could come to his side of the room while the nurse cares for dad and he said sure. As i entered his side of the room I noticed he had been reading and it was the bible I had left for my dad in his room from the first day he was in hospital three weeks ago. I said " hey I see your enjoying that bible I left for my dad I am glad to see you are talking to God again. " He smiled and looked at me over his glasses and said " Well it was left on my table last night by the nurses so I am giving it a gander again. Is that okay? "Sure it is. You know I received that little bible the day I first gave my life to Jesus.." and he cut me off to say " I know I read the front with the date it was 10 years ago I see all that...... that's good." I smiled and went back to visit with dad. He was quiet for another half an hour, so rare a time for him to be quiet that I check a couple of times-just in case-to make sure he was ok. HE was he was simply talking to his Father again and it made me smile. It made me reflect on the times I was angry with my earthly Father and stopped talking to him only to be made more whole by reconnecting with him again and having him embrace me upon return, just like dads roommate and his heavenly Father.
                     Dads roommate decided to go out later for some "fresh air" and as he scooted by he stopped and said "you know he was approached 3 times by the devil ..I always thought it was once. I am going to ponder that and alot more. Glad to have met you." And out the door he went. I wanted to take the bible back off of his side of the room but just felt like it needed to stay there. Today when I was on my way to visit dad I confess that I had many thoughts going through my head like how dads night went , did he feel any better and if his roommate was there still-just in case he forgot to leave my bible. That bible was important to me because of when I received it on the first day of my rebirth and the day I chose to try again to live but trying it Gods way this time. I kept that bible for all this time and always brought it to places when I felt like there was extra intervention needed from the Holy Spirit like when my dad was first in hospital and on life support-that bible was like my weapon for God and even if all of that was in my head it meant alot to me. I got there too late. Dads roommate was gone and dad was now on his side by the window. I confess again that I looked around for the bible and it was gone and after the moment of frustration washed away I realized how that bible was used as such a great weapon for God against the enemy for dads roommate who told me he was an atheist and stopped believing a long time ago and left reading, pondering and taking that weapon home with him to reconnect with his heavenly father again. I know I say this alot but God is so much bigger than all of us and all of this world and I pray that he may continue to use me and my JESUS FREAK a simple vessel to connect others to Him. I brought that bible in for my dad in his fight for his physical and spiritual life but perhaps Gods plans for that bible were for dads roommate all along.
                         How many times do we lay claim to things -especially personal items like a bible and assume God will only use it for us? That bible was only mine for a season and  already God knew 10 years later I would meet a roommate when my dad was in crisis and use that bible to help save us all in that moment. Thanks for following on my crazy JESUS FREAK journey.