I had lunch with a great friend today. More than a friend she has been a mentor to me on this Jesus FREAK journey. She has an incredible way of helping me to see the bigger picture of what God is doing in my life and she usually does it by letting me talk my way to figuring it out ,eventually, for myself. As we sat down today at her house to share a meal she wanted to know about how my time went at a presentation this week for the mission at a big corporation. As always it unfolded into something bigger. Embarrassing, humbling and wonderful. Always a lesson.
I started off by telling her how nervous I was when I woke up that day. Tom was away and since I usually ask his opinion on what I should wear or how I look I spent a really long time changing outfits and looking in the mirror...too much time I am embarrassed to say. I wish I could say I spent as much time in conversation with God that morning but I absolutely did not. I justified my "worrying" about how I looked that day by thinking how "important" it was that I looked nice, was my presentation "professional enough" was I carrying myself in a professional manner to walk into this corporate workplace? I am representing the mission so I need to look like this and act like this and make sure I say this..........I, I, I, ME,ME,ME...worry worry worry, waste waste waste. I could have spent that time with God I SHOULD have spent that time with God. Instead I allowed my ego to step in and I made myself and my presentation to be bigger than God in my life. I spent more time fussing about the directions to the place and timing myself just right so as to make yet another proper "impression" making sure I had directions and instructions so i went in the right end of the building etc etc. Make sure i Had this day under control...ME ME ME. Despite MY best efforts the information I was given still wasn't enough to ensure my smooth, professional entrance into the massive facility. Parking wasn't available at the gate and despite my best effort to explain why i was there to the security they could care less about the information I had , who I was and why I was there. thank goodness I was directed to another gate that knew I was coming and let me in. By the time i parked and grabbed all my professional stuff for my presentation I had no extra time and was directed to wait again somewhere for my connection in the facility to meet me. They did and after a warm welcome advised me that the outfit I was wearing was nice but that they had coveralls, a hat and boots for me to wear as my presentation would be inside the plant so i had to cover up. Glad I spent all that time worrying about what I was going to wear and how they would respond to me in my fabulous outfit. God sorted my ego out pretty quick. IN a matter of seconds the hour I spent trying to look "appropriate" and "professional" was lost as He stripped me of my "adornments" and i now looked like everyone else in the building. The important time i took on my hair was now lost in the ponytail and hat. Oh what fool I can be.
I presented that morning to a group of hard-working people who love the idea of helping others out wherever the need may be. There was no speakers for my fabulous "professional" presentation, just some pictures and me dressed down humbly for God in a room full of hearts longing to do what God calls us to "love your neighbor" whether they claimed to know him or not. We all looked the same and I just spoke to a room full of people longing to help and was finally able to give the message God wanted me to give because God was able to be heard in what the mission does and the people it impacts everyday. God stripped me down of myself and how "important" I thought I was in presenting this message and taught me a lesson I will never forget. the response in the room after the presentation was incredible but God made His point very clear again in one mans response to me as he was leaving. "thanks for coming and sharing a bit of your story I am so glad you are now saved." God really does see the bigger picture every time.
Do we need to find people and business to support the mission-sure we do but the greatest story isnt how big we can make a budget or how much money we can bring in-its who is God saving for eternity and are people seeing a demonstration of His love to our neighbors. I may never be able to be ready for any corporate setting in a board room but I am always ready to tell the great story of who God is , the miracles he continues to perform each day and all of the glimpses of His kingdom here on earth. Thanks for stripping me down to make room for you Lord. Thanks for not giving up on me , thank-you for the wisdom of great friends and thanks for this never-ending life lesson journey to finding my FREAK.
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