This past Sunday at our group we call R.A.W (Real Awesome Worship) at the mission, its our little space, our little church space, I got to hear my husband preach his first ever sermon and it was great. We just finished our second round of Alpha and loving every minute with Nicky Gumbel but our friends wanted to learn more about God. We asked them about what they would like to hear about and they gave us LOTS to choose from. One of those suggestions was "we hear about giving your life to God but what would that look like and be honest", so we prayed about it and thought about what we thought were the hardest things about it and compared it to the expectations God had for our lives and my husband went on to speak beautifully and honestly about "being Christian". He was so nervous because he knows that he does not have the proper "schooling" according to the world and he had to battle his own insecurities -you know that tape that plays in your head that tells you your not good enough, but we have learned together over the past few years that when you follow God it isn't going to make sense to everyone in the world but it is God who we ultimately answer to . The fact is every week at R.A.W we never know who will show up, what will be asked or what will happen. It truly is a beautiful mess most of the time.
This Sunday was extra special because it was the first time we led without relying on Nicky to start us off. We prayed for God to give Tom the wisdom and the words and He really did. I was really proud of him. to see him step out into something for God and open himself up to possible ridicule and at the very least a room of people who would throw really hard questions at him. We gained strength through the worship songs we sang and knew if we released it all to God He would sort it out even if we didn't really hear from him and were not stepping out into his will, we know He is a God who never leaves you in the mess but pulls you out to make a message.
Just as Tom began to preach a woman named Maria came in and sat down, made the sign of the cross over her body and closed her eyes in prayer. We know Maria she has been coming to the mission store for many years now but has never attended our church on Sunday. She listened to Tom and sang worship songs with all of us and prayed with us. When we were finished and everyone started to leave she asked me if she could speak to Tom and I before she leaves. I said of course and she asked me to listen to why. She said in her thick Portuguese accent " I have alot of pain in my life. I lost God along time ago and I put up a wall between me and him because I cry out to him in pain many years for myself and my children but He doesn't come so I said forget you and I put up a wall. I haven't had him for a long time. But I hear you people say today about being mad at God and I am. but I want him back I am ready to have him again but my wall is so big many years many angry years. I want to talk to your husband, have him pray for me I want to have God again." She took my breath away. I called the rest of the people left to come and pray over her with Tom and I and she shared with them a bit of what she told me, even George was there with us. We prayed for the wall to come crashing down and for Maria to know that God had never left her all these years. I was so glad she came , she thanked us for the prayer and left.
Today came and while I was serving coffee at the missions free hair salon Maria came in. She said I need to speak to you right now! I went over to her and she said, " I thought yesterday was the hair cut day, I got my days mixed up. Thats why I came yesterday during your church, I thought you were just praying for the start of the hair cuts like you do for everything and then your husband started speaking about God and I realized I was in church and I was going to leave but I knew that God had tricked me into coming to church to meet Him again. After you prayed with me yesterday my insides were empty I didn't feel hard in the middle anymore and I knew God had tricked me into meeting him, He will do whatever He needs to get you with him I guess. Thank-you for that it has been along time without Him and I am glad He tricked me. SO I am here today for a hair cut -right?" she smiled. "yes Maria today is the hair cut day, not church. " I laughed. She said " I think I may come back to church again either here or the one I used to go to but I talked to God today." I said "Maria I am so glad you and God are talking again and wherever He needs to meet you we are so happy for that and I will let Tom know for sure. Thank-you for sharing this with me."
I am blessed by everything at the mission and I am on an incredible JESUS FREAK journey with God but I am never less than surprised and humbled and forever blown away by the way He does everything so on purpose and so beautifully for His kingdom and the way HE steps right into our beautiful mess everyday. God you are so awesome and I thank you for the boldness of my husband to follow you and for a place like HHSM where there is space for all us broken people to try our best to move forward on our journeys with you. I am so glad God that you and Maria are talking again. :)
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