Do we really believe it?

Do we really believe what we say we believe? You know REALLY believe? I met with a friend of mine for tea this week, shes a part of this Jesus FREAK plan of mine to hold me accountable on the journey and for me to keep her accountable on her own journey. When we meet we give each other challenges,listen to each others journeys and dream about the day that we really harness the holy spirit power inside of us and what our world would look like if we did. This time the challenge was using the power of Gods word through scripture, harnessing the Holy Spirit and praying scripture out loud as a weapon for our lives and the lives of others. It was incredible.There is something about meeting with someone else who wants to walk beside you on a journey and has no interest in anything else but being completely honest about this difficult journey with God in the world. Someone who calls you out to be and do better for your life because GOD deserves it. LOVE LOVE LOVE!
                         We talked alot about something we whisper about in church-the holy spirit. Except when we said it there was power in it "The HOLY SPIRIT" inside of us that created the whole universe -we have that inside of us yet we stay so small and wonder why mountains aren't moving in our lives. Particularly for woman we carry so much guilt worry and shame with us that we cant even see straight sometimes. What we forget about is the power that God gave us to overcome all of this.We all say we have the spirit of God inside of us but who cares if we don't ever harness it. Why does it matter if we say the words but don't use what God gave us to create change in our lives and the lives of others? Does it really matter if we know the words or say the words? I don't think it does.I think any of what we believe really matters if we don't do anything about it and i think in particular the holy spirit  power we have is something i want to look into further. Could you imagine what would happen if we tapped into Gods power in us daily and went into the world. Took all our garbage out and made room for the spirit to breathe-wow that would be awesome!
                  I think that's the very thing that God wants for His children. I think he longs for the days when we wake up in the morning and look at ourselves and love every inch that we see in the mirror,when we greet our spouses with love and thanks for who they are and how they have made our life richer. When we send our children to bed every night with no doubt that they are loved beyond measure, when everyone who comes in contact with us feels better about who they are when we decide to love ourselves in order to send a healthy person in to the world to reflect Gods love onto others. I want that. I no longer want to wish for that but i want to do my best everyday to have that. I am grateful for the people in my life who will make me accountable and help me achieve that. Maybe this journey isn't about finding my FREAK. Maybe i already have it inside me. My Spirit is the FREAK and instead of looking for it i need to harness it.
                 On this journey i hope to not only find my FREAK (or harness the spirit) but have everyone around me benefit from it. I hope to be the mother with children who know they are loved like crazy, a wife whose husband feels like he's the greatest guy in the world and that when i go into the world my foot print is one of grace love and mercy. Oh this will be tough but i love that there are people who love me enough to keep me accountable.I don't want to just say the words anymore I want to live them . Here we go........... \Oh Lord I really need you.