I know this may sound like a strange question-" Can we be too busy for God doing Gods work?" But i seriously wonder if this may be part of my problem. As I looked at my schedule for this week i was excited about seeing all the great things going on at HHSM and thought how pleasing to God it will be when all of these "events" happen. Thinking of how many people will be blessed by each event. Then I thought for a moment about all the juggling i am trying to do with meetings, family,friends and prepping for speaking engagements and just the day to day stuff we all do, I wondered if all this "God stuff" was actually keeping me from God.
The idea of accomplishing all these tasks has left me with little room to just sit with God and be with Him,listen to Him. Perhaps that's an element to this FREAK journey that is one of my biggest stumbling blocks-too much God "stuff" but not enough GOD. The challenge i find though is trying to figure out what to remove from the list. Clearly God needs to be first-or at least thats what I say but am i really going to take away those moments created to bless others in the community that leave me with a great sense of accomplishment or dare i say pride!?! As i wrestled with this before the sun came up i can to a humbling realization. I think i drop God from my schedule but try to justify it by doing " God stuff" like somehow He wont notice that i have dismissed Him for my personal gratification of watching others be blessed.
I dont think i should cancel everything going on this week-in fact i am still very excited about it and i think thats ok. BUT i really think this journey i am on has caused me to realize that during the seasons of busyness that we all have in our culture that causes stress and anxiety even the stuff that is really great i think I forgot that need to go to Him first. I know if I go to God first He will supply me with what i need to make it through the busy times and also let me forget about myself in this whole process and allow the blessings to flow where they should flow-straight to Him. I need to focus on God and everything else will fall into place. I need to stop pretending like all the glory in all I do is for Him and be honest about what glory i secretly take for myself.
Despite some of the rearranging i will need to do with some people this week I am confident that making the time for God is where i need to focus no matter how upset people might get. I realize that if i was as worried about pleasing God as i am about many people in my life everything would work out a lot smoother. I think if i shift into this thinking i may find that FREAK sooner than later. I will keep you posted and would appreciate you keeping me accountable.
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